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Repentance And Grace

12/7/2024

The booth was dark, and the oppressive weight of regret haunted her. Grace waited pensively as guilt and misery churned in her soul. The sound of the panel sliding jolted her from her brooding.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been one week since my last confession.” Grace sniffled.

“It must have been quite a week. You seem distressed.”

“Father, I’m so upset. I was awful.”

“You broke all Ten Commandments?”

“What?” She reviewed the list silently. “No. I don’t think I broke any of those.”

“That’s a good start. What is it that’s weighing on you?”

“I’ve been very selfish, and I hurt a friend.”

“That’s human nature. We are flawed creatures, but we have the gift of Christ’s redemption to give us hope and a light to follow in the darkness. It’s clear that you recognize this.”

“Yes, but I feel terrible anyway.”

“That is because you have a soul. Guilt is a healthy response to sin and a recognition of the harm you’ve done. Clearly, you understand this because you are here. You also understand that Christ will forgive your sins. The question is, will you?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Whatever you did to wrong this friend of yours is a heavy chain on your soul. The purpose of this sacrament is to reconcile with God. Christ died on the cross to destroy death, but you still have to accept that gift of forgiveness. If someone hands you a present and you put it on the shelf and never open it, have you actually received it?”

“No, probably not.”

“Consider that when you leave here today. Jesus gives you this gift of forgiveness freely and lovingly. Whatever you have done to harm your friend is between you and them. You need to attend to that, certainly, but you have the love of your Savior now and always.”

“Dr. Hu asked me where my heart is.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“It’s at school. I want to be a psychiatrist like her and Dr. Wisler.”

“You have a heart for service and a mind that’s equal to the challenge. It’s uncommon for one so young to discern God’s plan. It’s all too easy to be led off the path by worldly pleasures and arbitrary distractions.”

“You’re right. Being home has been very distracting.”

“Maintaining focus requires discipline and remembering to listen to the still, small voice amid the tempests. You know what is right and you’ve done a fine job following God’s will. Silence the jingle bells and the rustling of tinsel. Being home is a comfort, but comfort can numb us to God’s word. Remember who you are and what God has created you to be. You are a good person and a devoted servant to the Almighty. No penance I can give would be as dire as the torment you’ve visited upon yourself. Instead, think of these as reminders of who you are and what you believe. Say one Our Father and one Hail Mary and may they lift your soul and brighten your path. Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.”

The panel slid shut. Grace crossed herself and left the confessional.

Leo’s pocket buzzed.

Hi

He didn’t recognize the number. It wasn’t a client or anyone in his contacts.

Hi

He shrugged. ‘Kind of random.’ He dropped the phone into his pocket and got a plate of gołąbki from the fridge. Grace had brought over a tray last night. It was too big for the fridge, so he had portioned them onto a collection of plates.

He felt bad about giving her such a cold reception. She was a blubbering mess, standing on his front porch with a massive tray of freshly made gołąbki. He wasn’t listening closely. He just wanted her to go home. It was obvious to him that she was punishing herself more than he could bring himself to. He had remained bland and aloof to keep the encounter as short as possible.

He had been rethinking his mini-romance with her. Sure, she’s cute. She’s smart. She’s familiar. What’s the harm in flirting with her over the holidays before she disappeared again?

Well, she’s going to disappear again. Why invest in a balloon that’s guaranteed to pop?

He had been beating himself up about that. It wasn’t fair to lay that on Grace. The feelings that had stirred weren’t so much for her as they were a reminder of how lonely he had been feeling.

He slid the plate into the microwave, hoping they would taste even half as good as they had been when delivered fresh from the Chmielewski’s oven. Even his dad had to admit that these were gourmet-quality.

‘I don’t know how you make gourmet gawumpkies, but my word.’ He watched the plate rotating in the microwave. His pocket buzzed again.

I hope you don’t mind
Grace gave me your card
Sarah

Leo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘Merry Christmas to me.’

No, I don’t mind at all
I like your costume
You’re really good with the kids

‘You’re an absolute genius.’ He shook his head and paced the kitchen, struggling to say something less idiotic if he hadn’t already scared her away.

Thanks
Meirhe made it for me
🎄 Do you like Christmas cookies? 🍪

The microwave buzzed. He grabbed a hot pad to pull the dish out and deliver it to the table in the breakfast nook. ‘Boy, do I?’

Sure do

He poured himself a fresh cup of coffee and sat down to dig in when his pocket buzzed again.

I made a bunch last night

‘Hmm, this seems promising.’ He looked down at his lunch and back at the phone.

Wow, all one kind or a variety?

He pictured her in a treehouse, producing tray after tray of cookies as he dug into the best cabbage rolls he’d ever had.

All the favs
Chocolate chip, PB, Oatmeal, Gingerbread…

‘She bakes when she’s bored. She’s great with kids. Cute as a button. Not afraid to make first contact. Hmm, nobody’s this perfect. Have to wonder what the downside is. Maybe the red hair comes with a temper. That’s what they say, anyway.’ He studied his phone.

Sounds amazing

He munched away at his lunch as he wondered where this was headed. ‘She is cute.’

Would you like some?
We could meet at the Zavijava

‘It has to be too good to be true. This sort of thing simply doesn’t happen.’ He looked down at his food. ‘On the other hand, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. When one door closes, another opens.’

Sure, when are you available?

“That smells marvelous.” Joe said.

“There are plenty more in the fridge. Help yourself.”

“Thank you.” He headed to the fridge. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be my guest. There’s still coffee in the pot.”

“Thanks, but I have a headache already. Is there any apple juice?”

“I believe so. Problems with the programming?” Leo’s pocket buzzed.

“It’s a combination of factors, but this new code is compounding the misery.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Leo twisted to check on his brother. “Perhaps you should give yourself an opportunity to rest.”

“That’s why I broke for lunch. I may take a nap and see if things fall into place for me.”

“I hope you feel better.” Leo checked his phone.

I can be there at 2

He smiled.

See you then 🙂

“New job?” Joe asked, unscrewing the apple juice lid.

“No, this is for pleasure.”

“Ah.” He poured a glassful. “So, you and Grace have reconciled?”

“I suppose so, but I’m going to meet Sarah at two.”

“Sarah?”

“She’s the photographer for Maslov’s Santa.”

Joe nodded as he screwed the lid onto the bottle. “Dad said she’s something of a klutz.”

“Consider the source.” Leo chomped into a piece of his gołąbki.

“Understood.” Joe placed his glass of juice on the table at the place across from Leo. “There’s additional context.”

“Yes, you should see her at work. Zipping around like a dragonfly. I’m surprised she doesn’t trip several times an hour.”

“A ringing endorsement.”

“No, seriously. She’s managing the kids, arranging the shots, she’s behind the camera. She’s all over the place.”

“Industrious. I can respect that. Pass me that hot pad.” Joe reached out.

Leo handed it to him and returned to his lunch. “Exactly. That line was a mile long and she kept it going at a respectable pace.”

Joe adjusted his glasses. “Okay, okay. Respect in full measure. It will be a bit of an uphill battle for her to overcome Dad’s first impression of her.”

“Yes, that’s a concern for later.” Leo took a gulp of coffee. “I’ve got to see how things go at the Zavijava.”

“Neutral ground. Good plan.” He brought his plate to the table.

“It was her suggestion.”

“Hmm, industrious and sensible.” He took his seat. “If things don’t gel, feel free to tell her you have a handsome older brother who is twice as intelligent.”

“Uh-huh, I don’t know how Chris feels about blind dates.”

“Touché.” Joe said with a wry smile. “How did you get her number?”

“Grace gave her my card.”

“Grace had your card?”

“I gave her one the other day so we could arrange a lunch swap.”

“Oh, that Shepherd’s Pie you made? That smelled astounding. It’s a shame you’re my brother. Cooking like that could earn somebody an engagement ring.”

“Okay, now you’re just making it weird.”

“Told you I needed a nap.” Joe shrugged. “Find out if she’s got a sister or a friend.”

“I’ll see what we can wrangle up for you. Are you trying to beat me to the end zone?”

“End zone?” Joe cocked an eyebrow.

“Dad asked who was giving him more grandchildren. Sounds like you’re on the prowl.”

“Maybe you need a nap. Your imagination is running wild.”

“Hmm, guess we’ll see.”

“Grace gave her your card? So, she contacted you?”

“Imagine my surprise. I was wondering how to go about approaching her and…”

“And you’re a step ahead.”

“How so?”

“Given your card, she reached out. If she wasn’t interested, you’d be none the wiser.”

“Good point. She invited me to the Zavijava to share her Christmas cookies.”

“Indeed? Perhaps you should leave now.”

“Because?” Leo finished his coffee.

“So you have time to stop by the jewelry store. You might want to grab an engagement ring, in case things go well.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Leo took his plate to the sink and washed it.

Leo pulled into the parking lot at the Zavijava and cruised slowly past the large front windows. He figured her brilliant red hair would be easy to spot. ‘Perhaps I’m early?’

He found a spot and pulled in. Leo checked his hair in the rear-view mirror before climbing out of the car into the chilly afternoon breeze.

“Leo?”

He turned around to find Sarah alighting from a bus with a tray in her hands. “Oh, hi! Can I get that for you?” He hurried over to the sidewalk where the bus was unloading.

She handed him the tray and tugged the collar of her coat up over her chin. “Thank you. It’s so cold out here!” She followed him to the door and opened it for him.

“Wow, that’s better. Can I get you coffee or cocoa? Maybe tea?” Leo set the tray on a table and helped her with her coat.

“Ooh, j’aimerais un cacao blanc à la menthe poivrée.”

“Wow, you’ve got a real handle on ordering at Zavijava. One Peppermint White Cocoa coming right up.” He got in line while she sat at the table with the tray of cookies. ‘Wow, this is really happening.’ He inched forward, keeping an eye on her as he waited his turn.

She was deep in thought when he returned. “I hope you don’t mind.” He handed her the decorative Christmas cup. “I asked them how you prefer your drink.”

She set the cup down and clapped her hands. “It’s perfect, thank you. They even did the whipped cream and the long spoon.”

“Nothing’s too good for Santa’s helper.” He sat down and studied the tray of Christmas cookies. “Wow, I didn’t get a close look at this before. You’re not kidding.”

She blushed. “I found a Christmas channel on the radio and, well…”

‘Don’t ask her.’ He studied the variety of the cookies. “Wow, are those pfeffernüsse? You’ve really got all the bases covered.”

“Ha ha, cookbook plus Christmas radio equals–”

“Magic.” He sipped at his coffee. “May I?”

“Definitely. That’s why I brought them.” She scrunched her shoulders up and rolled her eyes.

‘Don’t ask her.’ He studied the variety. “Hmm, where to begin?”

“Can’t go wrong with a basic chocolate chip.” She picked one up and offered it to him.

He took it and turned it over. The chocolate chips were plentiful and the cookie was still as soft as if it was fresh from the oven. ‘Don’t ask her.’ He looked into her hazel-green eyes as he took a bite. The harmony of flavors and texture made him smile.

“Good?”

“Better than good.” He took another bite. “Amazing. Boy, am I glad you found that Christmas channel.” He licked crumbs and chocolate from his fingers. ‘Don’t ask her.’

Her smile faded to a suspicious smirk. “Oh, I can read you, Mister.”

“Huh?”

“You want to ask me if I baked these in a treehouse. Don’t you?”

Leo clamped his lips together and shrugged.