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A Matter Of Professionalism
12/16/2024
“I understand.” Dr. Hu took her glasses off and massaged the bridge of her nose. “Sarah, you and I have much to discuss. Please wait for me in my office. I need to have a word with Grace.”
“Don’t be mad.” Sarah clasped her hands. “This is a good thing.”
“I’m not mad.” Dr. Hu took Sarah’s hands in hers. “We’ll talk about this in a moment. It’s a matter of professionalism. The nature of your relationship has changed. This requires an adjustment. Please wait in my office.”
Sarah cast a sad glance at Grace on her way in.
“I had no idea my parents were–”
“It is what it is.” She put her glasses on. “I know you’ve been struggling with your ability to be objective in Sarah’s case. This is an extraordinary circumstance. It’s rare when a clinician finds a patient spontaneously joining their family.”
“We discussed this last night.”
“What conclusion did you come to?”
“I said you’d probably ask me not to sit in on her sessions anymore. It was difficult enough to try to keep things separate before. Now that she’s family…”
“Correct. I’m glad you were able to prepare her. I believe you can be of better service to her as a sister than as my intern. Please note, there will still need to be a divide. She needs to understand that any advice you give is not related to your studies, but as a concerned friend.”
“Yes, Doctor. What do you want me to do during Sarah’s sessions?”
“As it happens, I’ve been waiting for some labs on Mrs. Koslowski. Please go to the Third Floor and see if they have those ready. I’ll find other work for you during Sarah’s sessions.”
“Thanks. I’ll go track those down for you.”
“Thank you for bringing this to my attention immediately, Grace. I know the temptation would be to try to sweep it under the rug and try to manage it on your own. I’m pleased that you recognized the dilemma and approached it with candor and professionalism.” She headed into her office as Grace departed.
Dr. Hu found Sarah wringing her hands. “It all seems like very good news, but you appear concerned.”
“I don’t want Grace to be in trouble. She didn’t know anything about it until they announced it at church.”
“Grace is not in trouble, and neither are you. I understand she tried to explain the situation.”
“She said that giving me Leo’s business card was some kind of ethical problem, but it was such a blessing, Doctor.”
“I’m glad it’s working out so far. I hope it stays good. I do. For Grace’s part, I was instructing her on ethical considerations. It’s very difficult to predict how any action, no matter how kindly intended, will truly play out. In our line of work, mistakes aren’t just mistakes. There are review boards and professional consequences. Meaning to be kind, we can too easily cross lines that result in unintended harm. But enough about that. How are you feeling about yesterday’s events?”
“I don’t know how to say it.” She thought a moment. “It’s like I’m so overloaded on happiness that I’m starting to get numb.”
“Numb?”
“Kind of. Not numb, like I was at the hospital in Laurel Ridge. Maybe not numb, but…”
“Equilibrium?”
“Maybe.” She leaned on her hand. “It’s like somebody dropped me in the deep end of a pool full of happiness. I sloshed around and clawed my way to the top and now I’m just floating.”
Dr. Hu smiled. “A pool full of happiness. That sounds marvelous.”
“The whole church applauded me. Leo’s family threw me a surprise party. His nephew called me Aunt Sarah, and they showed me their train set.”
“Aunt Sarah? How did that feel?”
“Like a hug that still hasn’t ended. He’s such a cutie.”
“How did Grace’s family become involved?”
“I asked Leo how to join his church after dinner on Friday, so he called his parents and their priest to set up an appointment. Father Tom said that since we didn’t know for sure whether I was baptized or not, they’d play it safe and assume I wasn’t. He said that I would need godparents who aren’t my current or future family. Grace’s family lives across the street from Leo, so he asked Stosh and Elka if they’d help.”
“Future family? Did Leo propose?”
“Not yet. Not officially.” Sarah smiled. “He can’t really propose until I’m Catholic. It would probably kill his mother.”
“Best if you don’t kill your future mother-in-law until after she’s had time to get under your skin.”
“I’m terrified.”
“Of?”
“What happens when she finds out? I think Leo will have a problem with it. We’ll be able to get through it, but I don’t know about Mary. Stosh says she knows she’s not perfect, but she’s pretty close.”
“Stosh is?”
“Grace’s dad. I stopped over after I left Leo’s.”
“You told them?”
“They were saying about how I was family and they were going to treat me like I was born to them. I felt so happy until I remembered…”
“How did they take it?”
“They were nice. He quoted some Scripture and she asked if I was going to do it again.”
“A fair question.”
“I don’t think so. I was so sad and alone last year. I had friends, but I didn’t feel like I had friends. Stosh and Elka said I was family, and I’d never meet a stranger for the rest of my life. They said I had Chmielewskis and Gajewskis and, eventually, Leo’s family.”
“If things don’t work out with Leo?”
“Even so, I still have Grace’s family. That’s what they said.”
“Strange, isn’t it?”
“It’s unbelievably weird, but everything changed.”
“Because Grace gave you his business card?”
“Actually, it’s because I fell at work.”
“Explain.”
“I tripped.” She smiled. “I nearly crashed face-first into Santa’s chair.”
“This makes you happy?”
“No, that was pretty scary, but Leo came over to help me up. He said that when I gave him my hand, it gave him a jolt. He told me that even if Grace hadn’t given me his card, he would have introduced himself.”
“A jolt?”
“I got one when we went to the mall after church last week.”
“Infatuation can have distinct physical sensations.”
“I know. I had plenty of those already. I was infatuated with Paul until I saw that picture of him kissing Carol.”
“This is different?”
“Very. Paul was cute. He was sweet and gentle and famous. I got a thrill every time I saw him. Carol said I should ask him out to a movie. I was looking to see what was playing when that picture popped up. I hated him for that.”
“But there was no jolt with Paul?”
“No, it was just a fan crush.”
“What if you find a mistletoe picture of Leo?”
“Why would he do that? He said he felt that jolt even before I did.”
“Hypothetically.”
“That would make me sad. I guess I could find someone else at Grace’s church.”
“Interesting.”
“What?”
“Without Leo, you would still join the church?”
“Stosh and Elka, they said I’m family. I want that. I’m done being alone. I deserve to be loved. Don’t you think?”
“Absolutely. Everyone deserves to be loved, Sarah.”
“They took me in and let me sleep in Emma’s room. They didn’t judge me. They just accepted me and said they love me like I was born to them.”
“Very generous. What’s in it for them?”
“Nothing, as far as I know. They’re just nice.”
“I doubt it’s that simple, but that’s good enough for now. When do you see them again?”
“Sunday, at church?”
“No plans with Leo?”
“I’m trying not to smother him. We’re just being casual.”
“If smothering wasn’t a problem, when would you want to see him?”
“Waiting for me on a chair out there.” She pointed at the office door.
“Sounds like infatuation.”
“No. I know what that feels like. Leo said something on Friday. He said I was his missing piece.”
“And he is yours?”
“Yes. I wish he’d have said it before I went upstairs to change out of my costume.”
“Because?”
“The reality of the situation knocked me off my feet.”
“Figuratively?”
“Literally. I was lying on my bed having a major panic attack. I was afraid I was going to have to call an ambulance. Then I was afraid the EMTs were going to have to break into my apartment and find me on the bed in my underwear.”
“You were able to find your center?”
“Yes, and Leo was there. I love him. I can’t imagine a future without him. I pulled myself together and went down to his car and he said that about the missing piece. He’s mine. He’s my missing piece and everything is better since I met him.”
“Normally, I’d be quite concerned.”
“Why?”
“Until now, you were alone. We have our sessions, but you were on your own to navigate situations as they came. These new parents of yours are going to be an important resource for you to manage your relationship with Leo. The concern I have is, will it be too much? You’re accustomed to being alone. To transition from that to a large, bustling family can be challenging.”
“I guess they’ll give me room if I need it, but I don’t think they’ll let me fall. I haven’t felt so loved in years. I’ve gone from nothing to more than I know what to do with since St. Nicholas Day.”
“St. Nicolas Day?”
“The feast day of Saint Nicholas of Myra. Elka told me about it over breakfast. The liturgical calendar is full of them.”
“This came up because…”
“She knows I’m a Santa’s helper at Maslov’s. She wanted me to know the real story behind Santa Claus. It turns out that I met Leo on the feast day of Saint Nicholas. I’m going to go to mass on St. Nicholas Day from now on. It’s on the list, just like Hunter’s Stew.”
“You’re making a list and checking it twice?”
Sarah smiled. “I’ll be checking it every year forever. You know what else?”
“Tell me.”
“Have you seen ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’?”
“Many times.”
“So, you know what George says on the bridge before it starts snowing again?”
“He said he wanted to live again.”
“So did I. I never wanted to say that until yesterday.”
“You told this to Leo?”
“No, I said it to Grace. We were talking in her sister’s room and I said it. I want to live again. All this time since last year…”
“That is good. I’d like you to say that at least once a day until you are able to tell Leo and his mother.”
“How am I going to do that? I don’t want to wreck everything.”
“The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes. Probably best if you pick a time.”
“Stosh said I should pray for guidance and I’d know the right time.”
“Prayer has many benefits, Sarah. If you don’t know how, your new godparents will help. Any last thoughts?”
“It’s a beautiful church for a wedding. I didn’t think I’d have anyone on my side of the church if it ever came to that.”
“Now you have Chmielewskis, Gajewskis and all of your friends from Maslov’s and from Laurel Ridge. You were surrounded by love when I met you, Sarah. You were in a dissociative state, so you didn’t recognize it. Moving you to Pine Hollow was a drastic step. I didn’t intend for you to become cut off from your friends.”
“I should probably thank them for looking after me.”
“Perhaps your new family could help you with that.”
“I think Mary would be good at it. She’s socially graceful.”
“You admire her.”
“Very much. Elka is wonderful, but she’s very stern and basic. I think maybe she could help me talk to Mary about last year. I want to get this behind us.”
“If it becomes an issue?”
“Then I still have Stosh and Elka. They didn’t kick me out when I told them. They gave me their daughter’s bed and pajamas and love like I haven’t had in years.”
“Don’t rush into anything. Pray about it. Talk to Elka. If you feel prepared to discuss it with Mary or Leo, proceed with caution.”
“It might not go well. I understand. Nothing good will come of trying to hide it.”
“True. Have a plan for the worst and have faith that it won’t be needed.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” Sarah rose and left the office. She was surprised and a little disappointed not to find Grace in the waiting room. She headed down the hall toward the elevators.
Grace turned the corner. “Oh, hi. Everything okay?”
“All good.” Sarah smiled. “Do you think your mom could help me talk to Mary about…”
“That might be best. Maybe if we had her over for tea. What about Leo?”
“I should probably tell him first, but if he tells Mary before your mom and I can speak with her about it…” She frowned.
“Can you come over for dinner? Maybe we can plan it out.”
“I’m working until closing time tonight.”
“Well, go home and change. You can sleep in Emma’s room again. Depending on how late you arrive, we can make plans tonight or tomorrow over breakfast.”
Sarah hugged her. “Thank you, Grace. Thank you for everything.”