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@CasGrrls_DontTellAbby
12/19/2025
Gary pulled into the parking lot of St. Casimir’s as a small silver sedan charged out to the street. “Taking your half out of the middle, crazy-person?” He proceeded to his spot. Put it in park. Turned off the lights.
The church was a short walk away. His spot. The wind had picked up, and it was going to be a rather unpleasant walk to the doors of the nave.
He pulled the keys out of the ignition and hopped out. Locking the door as he dropped the keys into his pocket. As he suspected, it was a rather unpleasant jaunt to the church doors.
The wind tried to tear the door from his hand. He stepped inside and wrestled it shut. Lights were on. Votives lit. Doors open.
Gary dipped his fingers and crossed himself before approaching the confessional. No waiting. He entered.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last Confession.”
“Have you actually?”
“Father?”
“Have you actually sinned, Gary? There’s a pattern this evening.”
“Feels like it.”
“Your heart is heavy.”
“Yes.”
“Because you left Abigail and Theodore to come here? Because she burned your dinner?”
“No, the pork chops were done perfectly.”
“A blessing.”
“Everything about Abby and Teddy is a blessing, Father.”
“Agreed, yet your heart is heavy.”
“Yes, something happened this afternoon.”
“Go on.”
“Teddy’s dad came to see me to ask my permission.”
“For her hand in marriage. A polite, traditional young man. This seems positive.”
“Yes, I was overjoyed. It really meant a lot. You know?”
“Understandable, yet your heart is heavy.”
“Father, he…”
Father Tom waited for him to give voice to it.
“He was really nice, Father. He didn’t know. How could he?”
“He wanted to know how to contact your wife for her permission.”
“Yes. What do you even say to that?”
“The truth.”
“I told him. He and his brother. They were…”
“Heartbroken?”
“Yes, exactly. You’d expect maybe embarrassed, but they were utterly destroyed. These poor kids. They meant well, Father.”
“It went poorly?”
“They apologized right away. They were completely devastated.”
“You withheld forgiveness?”
“Of course not. I accepted their apologies right away. How could I hold that against them? I explained. I told them what happened. I…”
“You told them how Abigail grew up with you as her mother and father.”
“I couldn’t take her place, Father. I did what I could to make her life good, grounded her in the faith, embraced by her church family. She needed a mom. They needed a mom to ask permission of. Father, I miss her more than ever.”
“So, where’s the sin?”
“What?”
“You came here saying you had sinned. I’m not hearing a sin, Gary. It’s not a sin to miss Tracy. It’s not a sin to be unable to fill her shoes. It’s not a sin to explain to well-meaning young men that she never had the chance to be Abigail’s mother, your partner, a proud grandparent like you. Where’s the sin?”
“If I haven’t sinned, why do I feel so terrible?”
“I want you to listen to something, Gary.”
“Yes?”
“Sin is separation from God. That is why it feels like pain. All sin is pain, Gary, but not all pain is sinful. You are missing your wife. That is pain. That is completely understandable. It hurts more because you have spent the entirety of Abigail’s life soldiering on without her. You haven’t taken the time to deal with that loss. With the belated arrival of Theodore’s father, you are facing the prospect of what Genesis and the Gospels of Matthew and Mark tell us about marriage.”
“Leaving me and cleaving to her husband to form a new family.”
“That’s the point of kids, Gary. We nurture them until they are able to form their own families, whether that’s the clergy or finding a spouse. This young man is here now. He has done the honorable thing and asked your permission.”
“And received it gladly.”
“And he blundered into your open wound without knowledge or malice. You’re coping, Gary. You have been all along. Now that you are facing the prospect of Abigail moving on with Theodore and this young man, the place left open by Tracy’s loss is an open wound that you have not taken time and effort to heal. I imagine this is frightening to you.”
“Abby got mad at me and moved all of Teddy’s stuff into her room.”
“It must have gotten quite crowded in there.”
“It showed me how empty the place would be when they move out.”
“When.”
“Yes, Father, not if, when.”
“This hurt you?”
“Yes, Father. Abby has been my concern, twenty-four seven, for the last twenty years. Then she had Teddy. I was upset.”
“Shame concerned you.”
“There’s no shame in Teddy, Father. I was afraid I’d lose her like I did Tracy. I was afraid I’d have to start all over again, just Teddy and me.”
“Fortunately, this did not occur. You have a healthy, beautiful daughter and a healthy, beautiful grandson. You are truly blessed.”
“I know.”
“When his father arrives, they will leave. This is the way of things.”
“I know.”
“And this leaves you alone in a big house with the loss of Tracy to address.”
“Yes.”
“So, where’s the sin?”
“I’m terrified, Father.”
“Because?”
“I don’t know how to be alone.”
“You have one point four billion Catholic brothers and sisters, Gary. You’re never alone.”
“It’s a pretty big house without Abby and Teddy in it.”
“Sell it.”
“I’ve got to live somewhere.”
“Fair point. This young man is in the service?”
“He’s a Marine.”
“Don’t they go places where they can’t take their wives and kids? Perhaps Abigail would need to stay with you when he’s deployed.”
“Maybe, but sometimes they don’t.”
“Yes, they’d join him on base and live a very nice life.”
“I sure hope so. That’s all I want for her. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“This is how we care for our children. Quite appropriate.”
“But she’s still gone, and I barely notice until I have some kind of panic attack.”
“You feel guilty for forgetting her?”
“I saw a nameplate on a cashier that said Tracy. It was disheartening. I saw Tracy’s name and couldn’t see her face or hear her voice. I barely remember her.”
“Have you considered remarrying?”
“No, not really.”
“Would Tracy have wanted you to be a hermit?”
“I wish I could ask her.”
“Touché.” Fr. Tom nodded. “Perhaps you should start taking time in your day to address this loss of yours. Maybe Abigail could help.”
“Father, I can’t put that burden on her.”
“Then don’t. I suggested that she help. Children are a joy, but they also provide help. Who understands you better than your daughter, upon whom you have lavished all your attention for her entire life? You raised her, Gary. She knows you. I’m sure she knows that this hurts you. I’m sure she doesn’t want you to be in pain. Let her help.”
Gary sat in silence.
“Gary.”
“Father?”
“Where’s the sin? You came for absolution, but you have not expressed a sin for me to absolve you of. What are we doing?”
“Oh, I stubbed my toe in the dark and said very bad things the other day.”
“Thank you. Now we’re making some progress. Go in peace, to love and serve the Lord. Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Now, go home and let your daughter help you face your pain. It’s not a sin, Gary. It’s just scary. Do you want to face that in your home alone when she goes or while she’s there to help you? Abigail and Theodore were planted in your life to be a blessing. Let them help you through your pain. It’s time, Gary.” He slid the curtain shut and crossed himself. He waited for the sound of Gary leaving the confessional. He listened to the vanishing footsteps before he allowed himself to weep.
“Are you shopping for you or are you helping me with Abby’s ring?” Matt groused as his sister slobbered over a display of tennis bracelets.
“Is it too much to ask for both?” Her eyes glittered like the light reflecting from the facets of diamonds, rubies, sapphires and emeralds.
“Bonnie, seriously.”
She straightened herself and forced her wrists into her lower back. “Gee, so needy.”
“Can I help you this evening?” A sales associate asked.
“He’s looking for an engagement ring.” Bonnie massaged her back.
“Congratulations.” She smiled and headed for a display of rings.
“Ick, he’s my brother. I’m already married.” Bonnie winced as she followed Matt to the rings.
“Do I need to know her size?” Matt studied the rings.
“She’s already got a ring. She said so. Ooh, that’s a nice one.”
“Not her, my…”
The sales agent’s eyebrows went up in anticipation.
“Abby Light.” He smiled.
Her hands flew up over her mouth as she giggled excitedly and bounced behind the counter. “Ooh, ooh, ooh! You’re Teddy’s dad? Of course, you are. Look at those eyes. Boy, you’re bigger than I thought you’d be. Has he always been this big?”
Bonnie studied the rings. “Yeah, he was born that size. Mom’s still mad about it.”
The sales agent laughed. “Oh, I love you. You’re a card. Wow, you’re Teddy’s dad.”
“Yes, ma’am. Do you happen to know her size?”
“Yes, yes! This one.” She unlocked the cabinet and pulled out a ring. “She wants this one. Get her this one.”
“Let me see, please.” Bonnie reached out.
The sales agent handed it to her.
Bonnie studied it and handed it back. “Yeah, get that one.”
“But it’s–”
“Does it come with a payment plan?” Bonnie demanded.
“Yes, very reasonable payments, actually.” The sales agent grinned.
“Get that one.” She headed back to the tennis bracelets.
Mandy Gajewski’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Chris sat up and removed his arm from her shoulders. She smiled at him and dashed out of the theater into the hallway.
@CasGrrls_DontTellAbby
#DownPayment!!!!!
BlingDeva
Mandy punched the air and liked the message before heading over to the bathroom. ‘Hashtag double duty!’
Leo pulled up to the curb in front of Maslov’s as Sarah dashed into the cold. She jumped into his car and pulled the door shut in a well-practiced motion.
“Love you.” He smiled as he pulled away from the curb.
She buckled up and grinned. “Love you, too. Uh-oh, what’s this?” She pulled her phone out.
“Shopping list from Elka?”
“There’s shopping, but it’s not Elka.” She hugged the telephone and pitched her head back into the headrest. “He put in a down payment.”
“Who’s putting in a down payment on what?”
“Teddy’s dad is going to put a ring on it, Leo!”
Whitney stared through a pedestal-mounted magnifying glass as she peeled a grape with surgical accuracy.
“Whitney.” Isidore whispered with a distant, nearly inaudible jingle of Sanctus bells.
She could see the goosebumps rise on her arms. Isidore was instructed to interrupt her only in the direst of circumstances. She set her bento crafting scalpels down. “What’s the matter?”
“Good news, actually. Priority communication: hashtag down payment.”
“Thanks for letting me know.” She sighed and turned to study her handiwork. “I wish you all the happiness in the world, Abby, but don’t even think about picking June 20th.”
“Don’t you think you should have gone home for Thanksgiving dinner?” Jack gurgled.
“No, they’ve got Sarah now. She can be the good Catholic daughter, and I can stay here and be me.” Grace sat with her feet in the tub, drawing circles and swirls with her toes.
“So, you’ve lost your faith?”
“Not really. I still believe. It’s just so…”
“Provincial?”
She smirked as she paddled her feet just under the surface. “Provincial? What are you, some Dickensian aristocrat?”
“If I were, I’d have you in my manor house as a governess.”
Her phone buzzed. “That’s because you want to see me in a corseted schoolmarm dress.”
“You can read me so well.” His face resolved to a concerned frown. “Everything okay?”
“I forgot I was on this gossip line.” She smirked.
“Ooh, gossip. Is it juicy?”
“You’re juicy.” She smiled as she wiggled her toes beneath the surface. “Some girl from Pine Hollow is getting engaged.”
“I can think of a girl from Pine Hollow I’d like to get engaged to.”
She swished her feet and smiled. “Hmm, promises, promises.”
Gary stood at the door, looking at his Bronco in his spot. ‘My spot?’ He took a slow, deep breath and headed out into the bitter wind. The guilt of what he’d forgotten chilled him worse than the weather. ‘Her spot.’