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12/16/2024

Leo sat in the car, listening to Christmas music as the lights in the department store faded. That amused him. ‘Maslov’s is too classy to simply switch the lights off. It’s like the house lights at a theater subtly reminding people the play is about to begin, but the play is actually the stagehands resetting for tomorrow’s performance.

He had his eyes peeled for a specific cast member. His phone rumbled in the cupholder.

Almost done

Hmm, maybe they’re having a staff meeting?

I’m here when you’re ready

Wish I knew how long that’s going to be. I want the car warm for her, but I don’t want to use up all my gas waiting.

🥰
Just clocking out
See you out front?

He smiled and started the car. ‘Should be nice and toasty by the time she comes out.

You bet
Zavijava?

Leo pulled up as Sarah emerged. He reached for his seatbelt buckle, but she was already opening the door.

“Wow, you’re speedy.” He clicked his seatbelt. “I was going to get that for you.”

“Brr, it’s way too cold to stand on formality. I’m just glad you’re giving me a ride.”

“Yeah, what’s the plan? Mom said something about tea with you and Elka. That sounds nice.”

“We’ll see.” She looked out the passenger window as they pulled away. “So, can we stop home and I can pack for a couple of days at Grace’s house? They’ve decided to adopt me.”

“Adopt you?”

“Crazy, huh?” She reached out, but stopped herself. “They’re taking the godparent thing to a whole other level.”

“That sounds like Staś and Elka. They have really big hearts.”

“They really do.” She bit her lip. “They’re letting me sleep in Emma’s room when I need to.”

“Need to?”

“So I don’t need to bum a ride for tomorrow’s tea or whatever.”

“Ah, sure. Does Staś know?”

“Stosh? I think so. Why would he care?”

“Well, it’s Light Fight season and our dads get kind of edgy.”

Our dads?’ Sarah’s eyes widened. “Oh, ha ha, that’s a funny coincidence. Stosh told me I could call them Mom and Dad if I wanted to. He says they’re going to treat me as if I was born to them.”

“Huh, he’s all in.” Leo nodded. “You couldn’t find nicer people. Light Fight rivalry aside, the Chmielewskis are the warmest, most genuine people I know.”

“I like them, too.” She sniffled. “They’re very kind.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m…” She shook her head.

He looked at her and back at the traffic. He offered a hand.

She looked at it. ‘So strong and gentle. Is he going to want to hold my hand after I tell him?’ She took it in hers and held it up to her cheek.

Tears?’ He pulled up to a stop sign and turned to look at her. “Really, are you okay?”

“I’m just so happy, Leo.”

“Tears of joy?” He drove on.

“Isn’t that weird? I always thought it was a cliché, but here I am, blubbering like a ninny.”

“It’s good to feel your feelings.”

She pumped his hand before directing it back to the steering wheel. She reached over the console and rested her hand on his leg. “It’s been a really long time.”

“A long time?”

“I haven’t felt so loved in years. My heart feels like it’s going to melt or explode or I don’t know what.”

“I do love you, Sarah.”

Oh, my God. He just said it. Is he allowed to say that? He’s my missing piece. Of course, he can say that, but he actually said it. What do I do?’ She gasped. “I love you, too. I love you so much.”

“But you were talking about Staś and Elka. Did I spoil it?”

“Spoil it? Are you kidding? I’ve been screaming it in my head for days already. I love you and I’m going to go on loving you until God calls me home.”

“May that be many, many years from now. I’d hate to live in a world without you in it.”

Oh, snap. Now I really have to tell him.

“Hey, did you want to grab something from the Zavijava before we go to your apartment?”

“I’m going to have a hard enough time getting to sleep without getting all sugared up.” She laughed. “For flavor, I’d love to. For getting sleep, I think we can pass on it this time.”

“You’re rather hard-nosed for an elf, but ten points for being mature and sensible. Look, I know I spoke out of turn–”

“No take-backs, pal. You said the L-word and that’s that. The cat’s out of the bag.”

“Is that okay? I don’t want to pressure you or anything.”

“Yes, it’s okay. I’d love to hear you say it as long as you feel it.” The thought stuck in her throat. ‘Are you still going to feel it after I tell you?

“I feel it.” He smiled. “Here we are. I’ll keep it warm until you get back.”

“Actually, I’d like you to come up.”

“If you’re sure.”

Am I? Am I just trying to stack the deck? It will be harder for him to reject me if he’s in my apartment. Right? It will be easier for me to go cry on my bed after he storms out.’ She looked into his hazel-green eyes. ‘If we can get through this, we’re going to have the most gorgeous children. What? Maybe I shouldn’t invite him up. We’re not ready for that.

“I get it. You’re still unsure–”

“Of course, I’m not. Get out of this car and come up to my apartment or I’ll wet your ear again.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He got out and followed her to her outer door.

Here goes nothing.’ She unlocked the door and led him to the elevator.

“Do I need to put a pillowcase over my head or something?”

She stepped into the elevator, laughing uproariously. “A pillowcase? Why? Oh, I can’t breathe. Why would you even?”

“Look, if you’re going to change out of your costume…”

“I’ll be in the bedroom and you’ll be in the living room. A pillowcase? You’re so weird.” She wept as she unlocked her apartment door. “I think you’re overdue for some sleep. Are you going to be safe to drive us to your place?”

“Yes, I’m fine to drive. How could I know what the layout was? I thought you said it was an efficiency.”

“Okay, I’m not a realtor. What’s it called, a luxury penthouse?”

Leo followed her into the tiny apartment. ‘Kind of sad.’ He looked around. “Technically, this would be called a one-bedroom apartment.”

“How imaginative. Pardon me a moment. I have to go use my one-handle commode and change into something less elfy. Take a seat on my two-cushion couch if you’d like.”

I’d like to kiss you, but I don’t know if we’d get out of this tiny box of sadness without doing something we might regret.’ He looked around the living room. “I’ll be counting the seconds.”

Gotta be quick. If I make him wait too long, he’ll be in a bad mood for the news.’ She shook off the elf costume and hung it up. ‘Okay, don’t be lurking around in your skivvies or something is likely to happen.

Leo heard her thumping drawers and closet doors. ‘Wow, this place must have cardboard for walls.

What am I supposed to wear?’ She slid into her jeans and dashed into the bathroom. ‘What do you wear to tell somebody this kind of news?

He strolled around the kitchenette, peeking into the cabinets. ‘Christmas Crunchies? She eats like an elf.’ Leo scanned the refrigerator and the whimsical holiday magnets. ‘Mom’s handwriting?

“Hey. You can help yourself if you’re hungry.” Sarah appeared at the edge of the kitchenette, wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans.

“Sorry, I was probing into the secret corners of your mind.”

Just tell him and see what happens. I didn’t bring him up here to get probed.’ She patted the couch. “Come over here and tell me what you’ve discovered.”

Leo joined her on the little couch. “I’m a bit worried about your dietary choices.”

“Judging my Christmas Crunchies? Kind of a low blow, don’t you think?”

“It would be hypocritical to judge you on breakfast cereal. I have some guilty pleasures I indulge in now and again.”

“Leo…” She took his hands.

“Sarah.”

“That thing you said in the car about a world without me.”

“What a terrible place that would be.”

“You also asked me about where I know Grace from.”

“And you yelled ‘squirrel’ so loud I think I lost a year off of my life. Where is this going?”

“I know Grace because she’s an intern for my therapist, Dr. Hu.”

“Is–”

“No, her office is not in a blue phone booth. You’re such a nerd. It’s on the fifth floor of St. Hedwig’s Hospital, in the psych ward.”

“That’s nothing to be worried about. Lots of people get therapy. Is she helping you?”

“Yes, she has helped me come back from a very bad place.”

A world without you?’ He watched the tears rolling down her freckled cheeks. “Sarah, look, I don’t know how things got to where you felt like you needed to…”

“It was a long time coming. The signs were all there, but I didn’t see them.”

“I’m really glad you didn’t succeed.”

“Me, too. I’m sorry.”

“You have to promise to tell me if you ever get anywhere near feeling like that again. Please, promise you will.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“What’s to forgive? I’m sorry it got that bad for you. I just want to protect you and keep whatever that was as far from you as possible. Promise me that if you ever feel like that again, you’ll remember these three words.”

She looked at his hands and up at his adoring eyes.

“I love you. Please, don’t leave me that way.” He pulled her hands to his lips. “Sarah, I love you so much. Let me be your way back from the edge.”

She leapt into his arms. “I promise. Please forgive me.”

“I do.” He held her tight and caressed her hair. “Is that what the tea is about?”

“I’m so afraid, Leo. She’s going to–”

“No, she won’t. Mom puts on airs, but she knows that nobody is perfect but Jesus.”

“That’s what Stosh said.”

“Believe him. He’s known her since they were kids. Mom can be intimidating, but that’s a persona she’s been working on for Dad’s sake.”

“I don’t understand.” Sarah sat back to study Leo’s face.

“It’s not really my place or my story to tell, but Dad’s parents were kind of harsh.”

“She said something about that.”

“Whatever she said, multiply it by at least a thousand. I mean, why would you name your kid Murray if your last name was Murray?”

“What’s the Q stand for?”

“Humiliation.” He shrugged. “It’s just the initial Q. There’s no middle name. Granddad did a real number on him.”

“Leo, that’s terrible.”

“Yeah, some people shouldn’t have kids, but my brothers and I wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t. There wouldn’t be a Jim or a Jenn, either. God can take the worst situations and polish them into shining gold if we let Him.”

“What happened?”

“He met Mom at school. She could see what he was like deep down. He was her missing piece.” He swept a tear away.

“That’s… Wow…” She grabbed a tissue for herself and for Leo.

“Hated by his own parents and she loved him back to life. She got Grandpa Gallagher to be his mentor and she was his champion. She crafted this power couple persona to rub it in the face of my paternal grandparents and everyone who ever disrespected my dad.”

“‘Loved him back to life’? I like that. Your mom is even more amazing than I thought.”

“He converted, just like you. Mom devoted herself to building him up and protecting him from careless, mean-spirited people like his parents. Sometimes, it seems like she did too good of a job. Dad can be a little full of himself, thanks to Mom’s agenda.”

“That’s what scares me. Even without what happened last year, I so don’t measure up.”

He hugged her again and held her so tight, she felt as if they were one person. “You do, Sarah. You are a magnificent person. You totally measure up. You are a feather in Mom’s cap, besides.”

“Seriously?” She leaned back to look at him.

“Did you see her on Sunday? I thought she was going to sprout wings and fly around the church singing like a one-woman angel choir.”

“But I’m just–”

“The best Santa’s helper at Maslov’s with a custom elf costume created by Mary Christmas herself. You’re beautiful. You’re humble. Your cookies wowed them. You’re so kind to John’s kids. If it wasn’t enough that I love you for you to be accepted, you are all these wonderful things on top of it. Mom approves.”

“Okay, say something bad now. I’m starting to get a swollen head.”

“I could live without the Wet Willies. Go get packed up. I need to get you to your family’s house before they roll up the sidewalk.”

She hugged him and jumped up off of the couch. “I’ll be right back, and no promises on the Wet Willies. Clearly, you need to be kept in line.”

“Mom will approve of that, too.” He held his hands up over his ears.