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Nine Ladies Dancing Day (Part 2)

In the shock of the move, Bryce was able to pull the pipe from the creature’s grip. He brought the pipe down soundly upon Krampus’ nose.

The creature put its claws up to defend its face as Bryce ran around the side and wailed on its knee twice with the pipe. Krampus howled in pain and fury as it drew its knee up toward its body. That was the opening Bryce was waiting for. He slid in between the raised leg and the other. He swung the pipe high overhead and down with a crushing blow to the creature’s groin.

Krampus shot up to a sitting position and groaned pitifully as Bryce wound up with a tremendous baseball swing to the enormous shaggy jaw. The sound of cracking bone could be heard down the street where Veronica was hiding behind a parked car. Krampus slumped over and fell unconscious.

Bryce started walking circles around the unconscious creature talking all varieties of smack. “How ya like me now? Big bad murdering monster! Not so tough now are ya? Well, are ya, punk? I prayed for you, you psychopath! You know that? I prayed to God to bring you some peace! Well, now you got a piece of me and I hope you got a healthy appetite for it, pal! Nobody but nobody attacks my girl! NOBODY!” He was poking at the fallen creature with the pipe as Veronica walked toward him.

“And you!” Bryce pointed the pipe at her angrily. “Are you gonna marry me or what?”

“Bryce, are you okay?” She asked nervously.

“I’m just fine!” He patted his chest with the red and white striped pipe. “I wanted to have a nice ring to give you when I asked, but this is as good a time as any! So, are you gonna marry me or what?” He pointed at her with the pipe.

“Oh, Bryce.” She cried happily.

Suddenly, red and blue lights were flashing all around them. A spotlight blinded them.

“Do not move! This is Empire City Police! Sir, put the candy cane down and step away from the monster.”

Luz and Veronica were sitting on the couch looking at Charles and Marella on the TV. The look of concern on their faces was clear even from a hundred miles away. “What do you mean they arrested him? For what?”

“Well, after he trashed Krampus, he was pretty amped up on adrenaline, Daddy.”

“You say what now? That sweet, little-bitty fellow trashed somebody who was tossing two hundred pound bags of coal around?”

“It happened so fast. One minute the thing was swinging a pipe at him. The next thing I know Bryce has the pipe. The monster is flat on its back and Bryce is pounding it like a veal cutlet. Knocked the thing out cold.”

“What do you mean thing, Ronni?” Her mom asked.

“It wasn’t a guy. It was a big shaggy monster about eight feet tall and carrying a huge lead pipe painted with candy cane stripes. If I wasn’t there, I’d never believe it.”

“And Bryce judo flipped it, took its weapon and set about tenderizing it?” Her dad said in disbelief.

“Talking trash like a gangster and wailing on the thing like there’s no tomorrow.”

Charles started laughing so hard he couldn’t talk anymore.

“And then he points the pipe at me.” She took the TV remote and pointed at her parents. “He says, ‘Are you gonna marry me or what?‘”

Luz jumped back from her cousin and stared at her in disbelief. “He what?”

“He says, ‘I wanted to have a nice ring to give you when I asked but this is as good a time as any! Are you gonna marry me or what?‘”

Her parents sat in stunned silence.

Luz took the remote from her. “Well, what did you say?”

“I didn’t actually get to say anything. That’s when the cops flew in from nowhere. It’s all red and blue flashing lights and then they cut on the spotlight and blinded us both.”

“Oh, my goodness.” Her mom said.

“And they get on the bullhorn and they’re yelling, ‘Sir, put the candy cane down and step away from the monster’.”

Her dad disappeared from view but she could hear him laughing and slapping the floor.

“Daddy, it’s not funny. They arrested him for saving me from an eight foot monster with a huge lead pipe.”

Her dad was gone. He was thrashing around on the floor laughing his face off.

“Give him a minute, dear. What charges did they state when they arrested him?”

“I didn’t hear. They got me in a car and brought me here.”

“Didn’t they want to take a statement from you?”

“They recorded it in the car on the way. They said they’d get back to me if they needed anything else.”

Her dad was still slapping and kicking the floor. “Put the candy cane down and step away from the monster!” He began screaming with laughter somewhere off-camera. Her mother looked down at him disdainfully.

“Well, what are you going to say when you get to see him again?” Her mother asked.

“Yes! I’m going to say yes. If the police could have waited a moment longer, I might have gotten to say it right then.”

“Well, it’s understandable. This demented thing has been murdering people all over the city. They were on high alert to get their hands on it.”

“I don’t think it heard him, but he said to it, he said, ‘I prayed for you, you psychopath! You know that? I prayed to God to bring you some peace! Well, now you got a piece of me and I hope you got a healthy appetite for it, pal! Nobody but nobody attacks my girl! NOBODY!’.”

“Oh, my goodness!” Her mom yelled. “Luz! Your house is on fire!”

They looked back over the sofa to see the familiar golden sparks that heralded Meirhe’s arrival.

“No, Mommy, that’s just Mary Christmas coming in. That’s how she gets around.”

“You certainly have interesting friends.” Her mom said.

Luz rolled off the couch and started thrashing around on the floor laughing.

Meirhe just furrowed her freckled brow and said, “Just when I thought humans couldn’t get any weirder.” She shook her head in disbelief. “The police will be releasin’ Bryce shortly. Do ye want me te take him home er bring him here?”

Veronica smiled broadly. “Bring him here. I have something important I need to tell him.”