Some links may be affiliate links. We get money if you buy something or take an action after clicking one of these links on our site.

Christmas All The Time is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Plain Ol’ Me. Hope That’s Okay.

Mary Christmas waited by the elevators. The door slid open. Phillipe held it for Carol.

“Are ye feelin’ better, Carol darlin’?”

“Sort of. I’m not hiccuping holograms anymore, but I’m so worried about Sarah.”

“What’s befallen the poor child?”

“She’s been through so much, Mary. She tried to quit.”

“Her job?”

“Everything. Literally everything. The pastor’s wife found her.”

“How dreadful! Let’s get ye on your way.”

“Can you send me back to my house? I’d like to—”

“No need to explain, child. Through this door with all haste.” She waved at the etched glass door leading to the team’s foyer.

Carol pushed through to her bedroom. She stood momentarily mystified. Once she let go, the door closed behind her. When she opened it again, it led to her upstairs hallway. “Wow, that’s trippy.”

She put her overnight bag down beside her bed and hurried to the closet to dig out Sarah’s Christmas present. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

“Hello?”

“Carol, at last.”

“Nathan, I’m sorry. I was out of town for medical reasons. The facility had no wifi. Look, I’ve got to get over to Sarah’s. She’s having an emergency.”

“Poor kid. She seemed out of sorts this afternoon.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” She tucked the phone into the crook of her neck. “I’m going to have to get back to you. Okay?” She pulled a large gift-wrapped box from its shelf.

“I await your pleasure.”

She struggled with the box. “Nathan, we really need to talk.”

“I agree. I was truly frazzled by your absence.”

“You were?”

“Yes, Carol. I couldn’t get a reasonable answer from anyone and I…”

“Nathan?”

“I missed you, Carol. I was worried.” He whispered before hanging up.

She sat down on the bed and stared at the phone. “Was that…?” She took a deep breath and played it back in her mind. “No schmoozing. No pretense. No sugarcoating. Just Nathan. He cares.”

Carol was tempted to simply fall back on the bed and fully absorb the moment, but her phone rang. “Nathan?”

“No, it’s Meghan. Are you still coming?”

“Yes, I just got home. I wanted to bring Sarah her Christmas present early. I can always get her another one later. How is she?”

“I’m worried. Everybody has been so wonderful and supportive, but she’s in a dreadful state. Pam is going to introduce the idea of a hospital visit.”

“I’ll be right over. Oh, poor Sarah. Hold on. I’m coming.”

“Greg, what’s the matter?” Ryan found the pastor sitting with his head in his hands.

He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I was just praying for Sarah. Meghan found her in her car.”

“She’s not—”

“No. Thank God. Meghan found her in time.”

“Why would she do that?” Ryan paced around the room. “What could be so bad that she’d want to do that? Is it because I went off at her?”

“No. Sarah has her own problems. Don’t try to put yourself in the middle of what she’s wrestling with.”

“That you can’t tell me.”

“No, I can tell you that it’s not your fault. How she reacts to situations is her own burden.”

“So, I didn’t help any.”

“Sure, it might have been one of a million things that have been wearing on her. People don’t always have a reason. Sometimes, they just give up. If we can catch them in time, we can help. We can try.”

“Is that how it was with Dad?”

Greg nodded and hung his head. “I tried to reach him. He just wouldn’t be helped.”

“You don’t need to feel bad about that. He was a miserable old cuss for as long as I knew him. I don’t think Jesus or the apostles could have gotten through to him. He was just too bitter and dedicated to hiding at the bottom of any bottle he could.”

“But I do, Ryan. I feel terrible about it. I could tell there was a tortured soul under all that boozy rancor. He wore it like a suit of armor to keep out the hurt.”

“That was Mom. Nobody could hurt him like she did.” Ryan’s pacing became more agitated and frantic.

“He never talked about her.”

“Patch could face down the biggest biker in a gang and spit right in his eye. Not with Mom. She could rip his heart out with a casual comment. I think she got a kick out of tearing him down.”

There was a knock at the door. Ryan bolted up the stairs. Greg leaned over the handrail. “That’s probably for you, you know.” He shook his head and went to answer the door.

“Evening, Pastor. Is Ryan here?” Marta smiled and pushed her glasses up.

“Please come in, Marta. I’ll see what’s keeping him.” He backed slowly toward the stairs and then he bolted. “Ryan, it’s Marta. She wants to see you.”

“I can’t.” Ryan knelt at his bedside. “I’ll destroy her, too.”

“Ryan, what are you talking about?”

“Dad always said Mom was nice until she had me. I wrecked their relationship. I almost dragged Carol into the system with me. I destroy everything I love.”

“I know it feels that way, but you need to give her a chance. She may be the exception to your rule.”

“I can’t bring her down like I did to Carol.”

“You were a completely different person back then, Ryan. Don’t blow this just because you’re scared.”

“I can’t.”

“How did it feel when you held her hand?”

“Like it fit perfectly in mine.”

“So, go.” Greg pointed at the door.

“But—”

Greg pointed.

Ryan got up and headed downstairs. “Hey, there she is.”

“Plain ol’ me. Hope that’s okay.” She slid her thumbs up and down the straps of her denim overalls.

“Who could ask for anything more?”

“Ooh, right answer. Give that man a cookie.” She smiled.

“You’re speaking my language. We’ll have to see if there are any to be had.” He led her to the kitchen. “That’s a nice sweater. I like all the little Christmas trees.”

“I was feeling festive.” She scrunched her shoulders up as she tiptoed in behind him. “What’s up with the pastor?”

“He got some bad news.” Ryan pulled out a chair at the kitchen table for her. “It’s about Sarah.”

“Oh, gee. What happened?”

Ryan found a canister painted with snowmen on top of the fridge. “Let’s see. Hmm, oatmeal with raisins. Still soft. Do you like oatmeal cookies?”

“Yeah, oatmeal’s good. What’s the matter with Sarah?”

“She tried to…” He hung his head and slid the cookie tin onto the table. “Greg says it’s not my fault, but—”

“He’s right.”

“I—”

She reached for a cookie. “What you did at the restaurant is, well, it was really awful.”

“Greg says she’s got more on her plate than me acting up.”

“Is that what you call it?” She broke a cookie in half and sniffed. “Dude, you flipped your darned wig.”

“I told you why.”

“It’s a symptom of a much bigger problem.” She nibbled at the cookie. “Mm, these are good. Looks like you’re not the only one around here in serious need of therapy. The holidays bring out the worst in some people.”

“Everything brings out the worst in me.” He sat down. “Everything but you.”

“Huh, he manages to be sweet and depressing all at the same time.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she jammed half a cookie in her mouth.

“I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

She nodded emphatically as she chewed.

Ryan smiled. “I’m glad you agree and I’m glad you’re here.” He reached out to her.

She smiled and put her hand in his. “I’m not going anywhere.”