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Ssshhh…

Trilby was heading for the elevator when she noticed a familiar salt and pepper ponytail. “Phyl?”

“Shh!” One of the library assistants hissed.

Trilby waved her badge at the girl and knelt down next to Phyllis. “I thought you’d be at the bakery.”

“I needed a break. She’s got Jenny and Sean helping her out today. How are you, honey?”

“Cold and getting colder.”

“Well, it is the first day of Winter.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“What happened?”

“Jeb dropped me in the Friend Zone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. When did he do that?”

“I went over to his place on Friday. He fed me. He showed me his ornaments and he bedded me.”

“He what?!?”

“Shh!” One of the students at a nearby table hissed.

“Sorry.” Phyllis said. “He did what?”

“Oh, Phyl, he was wonderful.”

“Are you telling me you and Jeb…”

Tears began welling in Trilby’s eyes. “I wish, Phyl.”

“So what actually happened then? How did you wind up in his Friend Zone?”

“He made me a splendid dinner, Phyl. He was so sweet and then he took me for a tour of his property.”

“It’s just a farm, isn’t it?”

“It may have been sometime back but it’s a beautiful fairyland now. He’s got lights in the trees and his home is tastefully decorated. He’s got a lovely Advent wreath and garlands he created from the trees on his property. He’s so clever, Phyl.”

“I’ve seen his work. He’s very creative and it seems like he’s good with his hands.”

“I wouldn’t know. He walked me around his yard until I was about to freeze. He took me into his workshop to show me his bear.”

“I saw a picture of that. How does it look up close?”

“Large as life and twice as ferocious. I was half expecting the thing to start walking around.”

“Imagine that. He said it was just an enormous stump at one point.”

“I can hardly imagine. He also led me into the part of the workshop where he works on the stuff he’s selling at the bakery. I don’t know if it was the euphoria of being with Jeb or if I was just getting lightheaded from the freezing temperatures outside. I made a slight misstep.”

“Oh, what happened?”

“He’s so charming, Phyl. So innocent and pure and nice, he really is.”

“But you made a misstep of some kind. What was it?”

“His workshop was lit with a beautiful galaxy of candles. It was absolutely magical.”

“Candles?”

“Jeb said he likes the smell and the fact that he was depending entirely on candlelight was purely coincidental.”

“Trilby, if it were any other man on God’s green earth, I’d say he was giving you the business.”

“I know, Phyl. He’s so innocent and cuddly and sweet. Honestly, could he be more perfect?”

“I don’t know about perfect but he’s a very nice person and not half bad to look at. So, candlelight.”

“There was a blue one, you see. About the same color as my eyes.”

“You’ve got such beautiful blue eyes, Trilby. What scent was it?”

“That’s what I wanted to know, too. Well, the problem is, well, um…”

“Trilby, what happened?”

Trilby’s lip began quivering and the tears began flowing from behind her glasses.

“Trilby, honey. What happened?”

“I leaned over some other candles and set myself on fire!” She cried.

“Shh!”

“Oh, knock it off! Phyl, let’s go someplace where we can talk without a nest of snakes hissing at us all day.” She stood up and stormed out of the study area with Phyllis fast behind. They got into the elevator and Trilby hit every button on the panel.

“You set yourself on fire?”

“I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying to burn myself on his funeral pyre. I wasn’t thinking straight and I leaned over some candles to get at the blue one. Then, poof!”

“What do you mean ‘poof’?”

“The front half of my shirt vanished like a soap bubble and my chemise caught fire.”

“What did you do?”

“What do you think I did? I panicked and made a darned fool of myself. I don’t even remember half of what went on. Jeb had to tell me the next morning after I woke up naked.”

“Naked? How did you get naked?”

“He says I ran out and jumped into the snow to put out the fire on my chemise and he had to get me back in the house and warm me back up.”

“So, he saw you naked?”

“No! Can you imagine? He didn’t even peek. I was completely starkers and he’s too much of a gentleman to even have a look. Friend Zone, Phyl. I have been completely and entirely dunked headfirst into the Friend Zone.”

“You wanted him to look?”

“Well, not like that. After I set myself on fire and then froze myself in a pile of snow trying to put it out. I was soaking wet and freezing and my clothes were ruined and everything. It’s no wonder he doesn’t like me. He’s got to think I’m a complete idiot.”

“If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have made an effort not to look. He was trying to be polite.”

The door opened on one of the floors. A young lady got in and saw how many buttons were still lit. She jumped out as the door closed.

“Guess she’s taking the stairs.” Trilby said. “What am I supposed to do, Phyl? I’ve been head over heels in love with Jeb since elementary school. He finally starts acting sociable and what do I do?”

“Let’s see.” Phyl pressed all of the buttons that had already gone out. “You cracked your head open and bled all over his pants. You smacked his grape juice like you were volleying for serve and then you set yourself on fire. That’s not the way to make a good impression, honey. You should be glad you’re in the Friend Zone now. If you got a second date, you might wind up getting shot.”

“Phyl! It’s not funny.”

“It kind of is. You’ve got to admit.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to laugh about it someday, maybe. I’m stuck out in the cold and I’ve alienated the only guy I’ve ever actually had the hots for.”

“And that’s the problem. I tried to tell you at the restaurant, Trilby. He’s not even a person to you. He’s just a prize to be won. You don’t like him for who he actually is. I had the same problem with Melvin.”

“This again? Melvin was married.”

“Melvin was separated. He had been for months. He was serious about the divorce. I was lonely and he was charming. Sound familiar?”

“Why can’t I have what I want, Phyl? He told me that Aundrea has been ghosting him, so I figured I had a chance.”

“I imagine you would have if you hadn’t set yourself on fire.”

“He even gave me what was left of my shirt so I could file a consumer complaint.”

“He’s nice, Trilby. He just is. What did he say or do before the fire? More importantly, what did he say after?”

“He said I gave him a scare and that he wouldn’t invade my privacy even though he was tempted.”

“See? He admitted he was tempted. He likes you enough to want to look. He just wants to have permission. He wants to be a good friend.”

“Yeah, friend. I said something about friends with benefits and he didn’t even know what that was.”

“That’s a good thing. Did you explain it? Did you suggest it?”

“No, he was busy fixing me breakfast and he said he wanted to be friends and that he wouldn’t be a good friend if he peeked.”

“That’s true. Don’t you think so?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s all innocent and honorable and kind of clueless.”

“So, you don’t actually like him.”

“Of course, I like him. He’s nice and considerate and oh, my God, that body. That voice of his. Those eyes.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed. The thing is, that stuff only gets you so far. Even if he’s gorgeous-”

“Yes, he is.”

“Even so, if you guys don’t actually have anything in common it’s going to stop being attractive and actually become repulsive.”

“Jeb could never be repulsive.”

“Believe me. After a certain point, the things you don’t have in common become snags. You start to resent him for being so attractive and so insufferable at the same time. I’ve been there and it was usually because I was infatuated instead of compatible. You think you can overlook the issues. You think you can get them to change. Everything you do to try to keep it going just drives the two of you apart that much faster.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“So, you’ve never gone through it?”

“No. Not until now.”

“Quit while you’re ahead. You took your swing. Do you really want to risk it? Just let him be friends with you. He’s a nice person. I’m sure he’d have you over for dinner again.”

“I’m sure he’d hide the candles, too.”

“Can you blame him? Let him be who and what he is. It’s nice to want things but you need to think long and hard about what you really need. Do you need a guy like Jeb? Really?”

“I guess you’re right. I’ve spent so long dreaming about what I wanted that I never even considered what I needed.”

“It’s a new day, kid. Better put on your thinking cap and see what you come up with.”

“I will as soon as we get off of this crazy elevator.”