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Trilby Burned Water

Marta found her friend sitting on the back step of an ambulance with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and an oxygen mask strapped to her face.

“Jeez, Trilby. What were you trying to do, turn the whole neighborhood into a Yule Log?”

Trilby shook her head and dabbed at her eyes with the edge of the blanket.

“Is she going to be alright?” Marta asked the EMT.

“She took in quite a bit of smoke. I’d like to make sure her blood oxygen levels improve a bit before we release her.”

Marta sat down next to her friend and wrapped an arm around her. “Want to tell me what happened?”

Trilby shook her head ruefully and dabbed at her eyes with the ambulance blanket.

“Mind if I take a guess?”

A fireman walked up and tipped his helmet back. “You’re Miss Hughes?”

Marta tipped her head toward her friend.

“There’s not too much damage to the apartment but the cooktop and hood are going to need to be replaced.”

“There was so much smoke.” Trilby muttered through her mask.

“What were you cooking?” Marta pressed.

“I was just heating water to make noodles.”

“Well, that sounds like you. Have you ever met someone who could burn water?”

The fireman shrugged. “It happens. The important thing is your place is still safe to live in. It will smell pretty smoky until you get a chance to clean it up, but no real damage was done.”

“Do you want to stay overnight at my place, Trilby? We can come back tomorrow and work on cleaning up.”

“Marta, I don’t want to impose.”

“Stuff and nonsense. Mom loves you. She’ll be glad to mother hen the living daylights out of you. Besides, you’re my best friend. I can’t just leave you alone in a smoked up apartment. Is she okay to come along with me?”

“I’d like to keep her a couple more minutes just to be sure.”

“I’ll go pack an overnight bag for you, Trilby. Do you have your keys? I’ll lock up on the way out.”

“They’re on the hook by the door. I had to crawl out under all the smoke.”

“Okay, honey. You stay here and I’ll get you some stuff for tonight. Do you have anything you can’t do without? Prescriptions or whatever?”

“There’s a bottle of pills in my nightstand and my deodorant is on the bathroom counter.”

Marta gave her a reassuring squeeze and headed into the apartment building. The stench of smoke was still heavy in the hallways. She pinched her nose and fanned it away from her as she made her way to Trilby’s apartment.

She grabbed the keys off of the hook and took a curious peek at the kitchen. The fireman wasn’t kidding. She had annihilated her cooktop and the range hood above it. The walls were smudged with the smoke her friend had somehow created from a pot of boiling water.

Marta shook her head in disbelief and went to the bedroom for Trilby’s overnight needs.

“Mom! We’re here!” Marta yelled as she led her friend onto the porch.

“Marta, you could wake the dead.” Trilby hissed nervously.

“Don’t be such a Nervous Nelly. You know you’re always welcome here. Mom loves to treat you like a second daughter and Dad’s got the hots for you.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it. He’s all bark and no bite. He’d probably have a heart attack if you flirted with him.”

“Marta! You’re scandalous.”

“You’re such a square. No wonder you still don’t have a boyfriend.” Marta rattled the doorknob. “They’ve got it locked already? They knew I was bringing you home.”

Trilby and Marta jumped back when Mrs. Kwock yanked the drapes away from the window in the door.

“Mom, what’s the big idea locking us out? You knew I was bringing Trilby over.”

“I didn’t know when. I’m going to let some burglar come traipsing in because you two want to stop at the Quikimart for candy bars and soda?” She held the door for them and looked over their shoulders for intruders.

“I can’t drink soda, Mrs. Kwock. Too many chemicals.” Trilby said as she shuffled into the foyer.

“We’re not kids anymore, Mom. I called you when we left Trilby’s place.”

“What happened anyway? Are you okay, honey?”

“She burned water.”

“You what?”

“I was making a pot of water to make some noodles for dinner. It boiled over and I had added some oil to keep the noodles from sticking. By the time I got back to the kitchen, it was like a smoke bomb had gone off. I tried to put it out but the smoke was so thick I almost passed out.”

“What did you put in the water, motor oil?” Marta’s Dad laughed.

“It’s not funny, Dad! Don’t you make fun of Trilby just because she can’t cook. Not everybody is as good in the kitchen as Mom.”

Mr. Kwock put his hands up. “Maybe Mom can give her some lessons while she’s here. She’s a smart girl. I’m sure she’ll take to it just fine.”

Trilby blushed. She didn’t like being the center of attention. That was exactly why she didn’t have a boyfriend. Marta’s words had stung her deeply but she didn’t want to be an ungrateful guest.

“That’s right. You are a very smart girl, Trilby. If you can figure out how to run a university library, I’m sure you can learn something as basic as cooking.”

“I don’t really run the library, Mrs. Kwock. I’m just an assistant librarian.”

“Modesty is a virtue, dear, but don’t overdo it.” She locked the front door and turned to the girls. ”Marta, you take her stuff upstairs. We’ll go sit down in the living room and relax in front of the TV a while.” Mrs. Kwock put an arm around her guest.

“Can I get you some tea?”

“I’d like to go change into my pajamas first if that’s okay.” Trilby said.

“You go ahead, dear. Go make yourself comfortable and we’ll just forget about your little mishap.”

Trilby dashed up the stairs after her friend. She had been having sleepovers with Marta since they met in Middle School. It was almost like coming home. Marta had her overnight bag on the foot of the bed.

“Trilby, what’s really bugging you? I’m sure you’ve made plenty of noodles without burning the place down.”

“I was thinking about Jeb and I lost track of time.”

“Oh, my God. This again? You’ve been mooning over him for as long as I’ve known you.”

“I saw him today at the mall.” Trilby started rummaging in her overnight bag.

“Jeb was at the mall? On Black Friday?”

“I was as amazed as anyone. He can barely stand to be in the room with one other person.”

“I kind of thought that was only a rule if you were the person.”

“Can I have a glass of water? I need to take this before I go to bed.”

Marta handed her a bottle of water. Trilby cracked the lid open and gulped down her pill. “Hey, you didn’t bring my pajamas.”

“Dad’s not the only one who wants to get you in the sack.”

“You’re a card. What am I supposed to sleep in?”

Marta reached into a drawer and pulled out a furry jumpsuit. “Here, we’ll be twinsies.”

“Well, I guess your dad won’t get too riled up if I’m dressed like a giant panda bear.”

“Yeah, no guarantees. Mom will be too busy fussing over you for him to get too involved. Are you going to be alright?”

“I guess so. I don’t know if my renter’s insurance will take care of that but I can afford to buy a new stove if I have to.”

“What about your Jeb obsession? He’s never expressed the slightest interest in you. Why don’t you just leave the poor guy alone?”

“Jeez, Marta. I thought you were my friend.” She took off her sweater and Marta folded it up for her.

“I am. That’s why I’m telling you, you shouldn’t waste your time harassing him. If there was any possibility, you’d know by now. Has he ever sent a single positive vibe in your direction?” She took Trilby’s slacks, folded them and set them on top of the sweater.

“He’s not mean or anything.” Trilby took off her socks and slid into the panda jumpsuit.

“But he’s not really receptive to you.” Marta folded the socks and tucked them between the slacks and sweater before sliding them into a plastic shopping bag and sliding the bundle into Trilby’s overnight bag.

“Did you bring me something to wear tomorrow or am I wearing more of your clothes in the morning?”

“Well, face it, honey. Your attire needs an upgrade if you’re thinking about man-hunting.”

“I thought we were going back to my place to clean up.”

“All in good time, Trilby. Just leave everything to me.”