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Turkey Teckaneenee

The sun was kissing the horizon when he pulled into his brother’s driveway. The door burst open and a couple of wild things came charging out onto the lawn.

“Uncle Ian! Uncle Ian!” Bradley jumped up and down.

“Mommy! Uncle Ian’s here!” Lynn yelled as she rushed to his door. “Uncle Ian! Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Is it something yummy?”

“Turkey teckaneenee.” Lynn yelled as she punched both fists into the air.

‘Teckaneenee?’ Ian pondered that a moment as he grabbed Mrs. Benda’s tin of Christmas cookies and got out of his SUV. “Oh, Turkey Tetrazzini. Mommy is a whiz with the leftovers, huh?”

Lynn snatched the tin of cookies from Ian’s hand, tucked them under one arm and dashed to the house like a Heisman winning wide receiver. “Bradley! He brought cookies!”

Bradley was more interested in a hug. Ian picked him up and followed the path Lynn had blazed across the yard. “How are you doing, buddy? Ready for some fun tonight?”

“Candy Land.”

“Want to play Candy Land after dinner? Sounds like a great idea.” Ian carried his little nephew into the house and set him down to scamper after his sister. “Hi, Nancy.”

Nancy turned from the stove to wave cheerfully. “Hi, Ian. Are you okay? You look tired.”

“Did a couple of jobs today. I’m sure a hot meal will perk me right up.”

“It’s just recycled leftovers.”

“That’s not what I heard.” Ian laughed. “I have it on very good authority that you’re preparing something very fancy.”

Lynn burst into the kitchen with the tin of cookies. “Turkey teckaneenee! Mommy, can Bradley have a cookie?”

“After dinner, baby. When Daddy and I go out, you and Bradley and Uncle Ian can have a cookie party.”

Lynn tore out of the kitchen screeching ‘cookie party, cookie party, cookie party’. They could hear Bradley join in the chant.

“See what you’re missing?”

“Go ahead, rub it in. I don’t know. I just haven’t met the right girl, I guess.”

“Do you want to?”

“Well, sure, but it’s not like I go anywhere that I could meet anyone.”

Steve walked into the kitchen and gave his brother a hug. “Does he want to what?”

“Settle down.” Nancy said as she slid the baking dish from the oven and placed it on a trivet.

“Oh, yeah. Jump in. The water’s fine.” Steve said, as he reached into the fridge for a jug of apple cider.

“Nancy has a lot of nice friends she could introduce you to. I thought you liked the bachelor life.”

“Maybe when I was twenty. There’s only so much bachelor life any guy can stand.”

Nancy grabbed a large bowl and began tossing a Caesar salad with Parmesan flakes and large croutons. “Sounds serious. Why the sudden change of heart?”

“’Tis the season. All the sappy commercials with the happy customers buying jewelry and so forth.”

“What channel is that on? I think I need Steve to start watching this stuff if there’s going to be jewelry buying involved.”

Steve poured his brother a mug of cider and one for himself. “You want some, Nancy?”

“Jewelry? Definitely. Maybe a tennis bracelet and some matching earrings.” She put the salad bowl on the table.

“Now look what you’ve got me in for.” Steve laughed as he put the cider back in the fridge. “Seriously, though. Nancy has a lot of nice friends she could hook you up with.”

“I don’t know, guys. I feel like it has to just kind of happen.”

“Just kind of happen?” Nancy gasped. “You’d be lucky to be married before your funeral, taking that approach. Just you let me find you someone nice.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t say no to nice, but I have a pretty busy schedule for the next couple of weeks.”

“But you can only work until the sun goes down, Ian. I can get my friends to come to dinner or later for snacks if you’re running late.”

“You did it, bro. She’s on a mission now.” Steve laughed. “I’m going to round up the munchkins. You take a seat and Nancy can start listing off the names.”

“What kind of girl are you looking for?” Nancy brought a basket of crescent rolls to the table. “That might narrow it down for me.”

“I haven’t really given it any thought. Similar interests. Sense of humor. Easy to look at. Whatever.” Ian took his seat as Steve returned with the squealing children on each arm. “Oh, by the way, Bert says hi and Happy Holidays.”

“Lunching on the shoulder of the mountain again?” Steve slid Bradley into his booster seat. “One of these times, he’s likely to give you a ticket.”

“I don’t do it that often and I was off to the side.”

“Sure, sure.” Steve let Lynn down to climb up on her chair. “It is an awesome view.”

“Alright, let’s hold hands and say grace. Then we’ll pick a wife for Uncle Ian.”

“I pick Chelsea.” Lynn said matter-of-factly.

“Who’s Chelsea?” Ian asked as he joined in the grace circle.

“Lynn’s best friend from Kindergarten. Honey, Chelsea is very nice, but Uncle Ian needs to marry a grownup. Let’s say grace.”

“Agnes!” Bradley yelled.

“Who’s Agnes?” Ian asked.

Steve kissed Bradley on top of his head. “Agnes is the Miller’s cat.”

“Okay, hold off on the name dropping and let’s say grace so Uncle Ian doesn’t starve to death.”

Everyone lowered their heads and Lynn said. “God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for this food. Amen.”

“Well, I guess I know who’s officiating at my wedding.” Ian laughed as he reached for a roll. “So, who do we know who is a grownup and not a cat who can be friends with Uncle Ian?”

“Oksana.” Lynn declared. “I pick Oksana.”

“She sounds exotic. Who’s Oksana?”

“My favorite lunch lady. She gives me extra pudding if it’s chocolate.”

“Hmm, she’s kind, and she likes to spoil you. Sounds like a winner.”

“I’m sure her husband thinks so.” Nancy said as she scooped some of the turkey casserole onto Lynn’s plate. “Honey, we need somebody who’s a grownup, a person and isn’t already married.”

“Too many rules.” Bradley humpfed.

“If it was easy, Uncle Ian would already be married.” Lynn stirred her food around the plate with her fork.

“Out of the mouths of babes…” Ian said as he buttered his roll.