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Best Elf In The North Pole
12/15/2003
Carol slipped into the photo studio. She smiled at the sight of a line of kids and parents winding its way to Santa’s throne. A team of elves were working tirelessly to keep the line moving smoothly. Her mother was the elf at the register.
“Hi, Carol.”
“Hey, how’s she doing?”
“Best elf in the North Pole.” She smiled at an approaching family. “Hey, folks. I have your pictures on the screen. Tell me which ones you like best and we’ll pick a frame.”
Carol wandered around the studio, glancing in Santa’s direction. It wasn’t the jolly old elf she was most interested in. Sarah was arranging kids and taking their pictures. She seemed happy. There were shelves full of frames with sample pictures of Sarah in her elf costume sitting on Santa’s lap.
“She’s so great with the kids.”
Carol turned to find Megaman in his uniform. “I’m glad she’s happy.”
“I’m scheduled to keep Santa’s seat warm in a little bit.”
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Nothing like a small town Christmas to help you get things straight.”
“Good, I hope you’ll be able to come over for dinner again. If you thought Mom’s smothered pork chops were good, you’ve got to try her Yankee Pot Roast.”
“Wow, that sounds awesome. I’ll bring the chips and salsa. I found this brand I’ve never seen in the city.”
“Is it Frog Pond Ranch? Their fire roasted tomatoes are so good!” Carol grinned.
Megaman nodded emphatically. “Agree, one hundred percent. I’m going to have to borrow a wheelbarrow from Jeb to get a supply back to Sentinels Station when I go home.”
“Mom’s over at the cash register. Let her know when you’re free to come over and we’ll have a party.”
“Be sure to bring Nathan. That guy is a hoot.”
“For sure. I’m keeping him close these days.” She spotted Ryan passing by the window. “Will you excuse me? I need to catch Ryan.”
Megaman smiled and headed toward her mother as Carol hurried outside.
“Ryan?” She looked around the gingerbread village.
He turned the corner. “Hey, Carol.”
“Ryan, I heard the good news.”
“There’s plenty of that these days. Which news in particular?”
“Earl told me he got Maggie to budget you in for a permanent spot on his team.”
“Oh, that.” He smiled. “Yeah, that’s great news. It sure helps.”
“I’m so glad for you, Ryan.”
He winced and squinted at the morning sun. “Would you mind if I asked you a favor?”
“Sure. What do you need?”
“I, uh…” He blushed. “I feel kind of weird asking you.”
She waited.
“Would you help me pick out a ring for Marta?”
Carol’s mouth dropped open.
“I know it’s kind of awkward asking your ex to—”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m just so surprised and happy and…” She grabbed his hands and started jumping up and down. “Wow!”
He laughed. “That’s how I feel when I’m with her.”
“Then we need to get her a really good ring.” Carol spun around. “When are you going to ask her?”
“After I sign the papers with Earl and after I have a ring to give her.”
“Did you check with her parents?”
“Sam just smiled and Fran said, ‘What the heck are you waiting for? I want grandkids and he wants more turducken’.”
Carol laughed. “That sounds very definitive. When will they make you official?”
“I’m supposed to see Marsha this afternoon.”
“I’ll meet you at City Hall and we’ll go look for a ring for Marta after you’re done with your paperwork.”
“Aaaaaaargh!”
Trilby shushed her. “I told you there were too many marshmallows in your cocoa. Now you’ve given yourself a toothache.”
“I don’t have a toothache.” Marta pulled a book off of the cart. “I’m having heartache, anguish and nervous palpitations.”
“Oh, so it’s not the cocoa, it’s the Indian food.”
“Heartache, not heartburn. I’m all tied up in knots.”
“What for?” Trilby shelved a book.
“Mom said Ryan asked them for permission, but he hasn’t asked me yet.”
“Permission…” She studied the Dewey number of the book in her hand before dropping it and hyperventilating.
“I know. Right?” Marta massaged her forehead. She looked at her friend. “Hey, breathe.”
Trilby stood there waving herself with both hands, trying to breathe.
Marta pointed at herself and demonstrated how to breathe. “In and out. In and out.”
“He’s going to ask you?”
“Theoretically. Some day.” She rolled her eyes and shelved a book. “He’s got the parental blessing.”
“As they say, motive, means and opportunity.”
“That’s what they say when they’re trying to convict somebody of a crime.”
“Even so, it fits.”
Marta shook her head. “Okay, fine. Obviously, there’s motive or he wouldn’t have asked them.”
Trilby giggled uncontrollably.
“Ugh, keep breathing, please.” She shelved another book. “There’s plenty of opportunity. I mean, all he’s got to do is ask.”
Trilby nodded and grinned as she shelved another book.
“It all comes down to means.” She bopped her forehead with a book. “If I have to wait for him to save up enough to buy me a ring…”
“Are you sure that’s the problem?”
“What else would it be?”
Trilby tapped the edge of a book against her chin. “What if he’s worried about Chief O’Reilly trying to run him out of town?”
“I’m pretty sure the judge gave him a talking to. Besides, if Ryan was worried about that, why would he have asked Mom and Dad for permission?”
“Wait.” She shelved the book. “Why did they tell you he asked? Won’t that spoil the surprise?”
“She made me pinky swear that I’d say yes. Like that was going to be an issue…” Marta shook her head and shelved a book. “The surprise will be when he gets around to asking and what kind of ring he finds.”
Trilby quaked in place and made a noise Marta couldn’t identify.
“Are you having a seizure? Do I need to find something to stick in your mouth?”
“No, of course not.” She clamped onto the book cart to steady herself. “I’m just so excited about you wearing a ring.” She cackled wildly.
Somebody in the next aisle shushed them. They both stuck their tongues out and continued shelving.