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Oh, Boy. Not Again!

Trilby awoke with a tremendous sneeze.

As always, everything was a blur. At least it was a familiar blur.

Why was she so warm? Did she forget to turn down the heat last night?

Where were her fleece pajamas? Where was anything, for that matter?

Desperately, she began feeling around for her nightstand. Where were her glasses?

What was that sound? Did Santa bring her a dog? She didn’t wish for a dog. She’s allergic to dogs.

Where were her glasses? She found the nightstand but not the glasses.

There was a sort of grumbly moan. She was fairly certain dogs didn’t make a noise like that.

“Brendan?”

That grumbly moan again and an unexpected movement.

“Brendan, is that what I think it is?”

He rolled over behind her and draped an arm across over her shoulders.

Her eyes went wide. She still couldn’t see anything but she definitely felt somebody laying against her back.

“Oh, boy. Not again!”

“Trilby.” He whispered in her ear.

“Brendan?”

“Merry Christmas.”

That made her smile in spite of the bizarre circumstances. “Merry Christmas, Brendan. Do you know where my glasses are?”

“I stuck them in the drawer next to mine.” He nuzzled the back of her head.

“Brendan, I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of girl who-”

“I think you’re the kind of girl I’m going to marry.”

“You what?” Her eyes darted back and forth. “Could you say that again?”

“I said that I think you’re the kind of girl I’m going to marry.” He snuggled up closer.

“Um, did I miss something?”

He propped himself up and looked down at her. “Miss something? Trilby, don’t you remember last night?”

“Um, no?” She pulled the blankets up to her nose.

Brendan lurched across her to reach for the nightstand drawer. She felt something she’d never felt before.

He rolled back beside her and handed her glasses to her before slipping on his own. “Trilby, are you okay?”

Once everything came into focus, she looked around her room. It looked the same as usual but there was a man in the bed with her. “Brendan?”

“You don’t remember?”

“We took a walk in the snow.”

“Yes.”

“We stood beneath the lamppost.”

“Yes.”

“We kissed.”

“Oh my, yes.”

“You took a chill.”

“I don’t remember that but I’m not surprised.”

“You said you wanted me to take you home.”

“I don’t remember that but it sounds like me.”

“You said you wanted me to come in.”

“I’m apparently a lot more aggressive when I’m suffering from hypothermia.”

“You didn’t seem to be cognitively impaired. I honestly thought you were firing on all thrusters.”

“What did you say?”

“Sorry, I’m kind of a sci-fi geek.”

“That’s fine. Go on.”

“So, I came in with you to be sure you got in alright.”

“Sounds about right.”

“But you don’t remember it.”

“Honestly, Brendan, I don’t remember anything after we kissed.”

“Oh, wow. Oh, no. I feel like such a-”

“You’re not. I’m sure you’re not. Tell me the rest.”

“Well, I helped you take off your coat and I guess it was still too cold in here.”

“Oh, no.”

“Um, I was hanging up your coat and I heard you sneeze. Really loud.”

“And?”

“Well, when I turned around…”

“Oh, no.”

“Um, better here than the ball, I guess.”

“No way.”

“Afraid so.”

“How much did you see?”

“A little slice of heaven.”

She giggled at that. “Oh, aren’t you the charmer?”

“It’s true, though.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

“Wait, that’s a little too enthusiastic. What happened next?”

“You took notice of my reaction and you took off the rest of what you were wearing.”

“Wow, I’m a total slut when I’m in a state of hypothermia.”

“What? No! Never, Trilby. You’re perfect. You’re phenomenal.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Trilby, no. I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you.”

“That’s awfully sweet, Brendan.”

“That’s what you said last night.”

“At least I’m consistent.”

“Is any of this coming back to you?”

“Not really. I kissed you under the lamppost with the snow falling and then I was here.”

“This is incredibly awkward.”

“Tell me the rest.”

“Well, you said that fair was fair.”

“I suppose I would. Was I happy with the results?”

“You were at the time. I wish you could remember.”

“Dang, I wish I could remember. Then what?”

“I asked if I could turn the heat up a bit.”

“I’m sure I said yes to that.”

“Yes, you were very much in favor of turning up the heat.”

“And?”

“We kissed. We danced. You told me you loved me. I said I loved you and never wanted to be with anyone else for the rest of my life.”

“So, you didn’t actually propose.”

“Well, I didn’t do the whole getting down on one knee thing. I mean, I don’t have a ring for you yet.”

“A ring?”

“Well, yes. If we’re going to get engaged, I ought to do it properly with a ring. We can go shopping for it tomorrow if you want?”

“Why not today?”

“It’s Christmas Day, Trilby. The stores are closed. Besides, I don’t want to go anywhere. I just want to be here with you forever.”

“So, how did we get in bed?”

“You got tired.”

“Tired enough to let a strange man in my bed?”

“Strange? We kissed. We got…you know…together. I kind of proposed, sort of. You didn’t tell me to leave.”

“Hmm.”

“Having second thoughts?”

“No, it sounds legit. I’m just surprised I agreed to let you sleep with me.”

“Well, that’s about exactly what you agreed to.”

“Huh?”

“You said you were tired. I asked if I should leave. You said you wanted me to keep you warm. I wasn’t about to say no to an invitation like that.”

“So, we didn’t?”

“Didn’t?”

“You know. Didn’t!”

“Oh!” Brendan laughed. “No, no, no. We didn’t. I was authorized to keep you warm. Boy, am I glad we didn’t.”

Trilby jumped up and pounded her fists into the mattress. “You’re glad we didn’t?!?” She realized she was exposed and jumped back under the covers.

“I don’t mean it like that. I can’t wait until we…”

“Then why are you glad we didn’t?”

“Like I really want you to forget that?”

She took a moment to think about it. “Okay, that’s a fair point. Is that everything?”

“You’re a really sound sleeper.”

“Thanks?”

“No, really. You’re really in tune with your circadian rhythms. You were just kind of tired when you said you wanted to go to bed but once your head hit the pillow. Gone.”

“I’ve been told that.”

“Oh.” Brendan slid back a little.

“What’s the matter?”

“I didn’t realize.”

“Realize what?”

“Well, look. This is my first time. I wasn’t expecting to be a notch on your bedpost.”

“A notch on my…” She jumped up and smacked his shoulder and then jumped back under the blankets. “It’s my first time, too, you big ape. What kind of girl do you think I am?”

“Well, who’s telling you-”

“My best friend, Marta. I’ve been having sleepovers at her place since Middle School. She just said that recently. She said whoever I wound up with would be unimpressed with that.”

“Well, she was wrong. I’m very impressed.”

“You are?”

“Of course. There’s nothing about you that I don’t like. Why else would I want you to marry me?”

“You do?”

“Yes. Do you promise to remember this time?”

“How could I forget a thing like that?”

“You already have. Last night seems to be gone.”

“Hmm, good point. I guess I do need you to keep me warm.”

“Anything you say, Trilby. I just want to make you as happy as you’re making me.”

“I like the sound of that.” She snuggled up next to him. “Can you cook?”

“Sure, you want some breakfast?”

“Not just yet. I’m just taking inventory.”

“Inventory, huh?” Brendan laughed. “I guess I’ve got an inventory of my own I ought to be taking.”

“Is that so? What do you want to know?”

“Where your ticklish spots are.”